Full Moony
by shaunaBunnie
Summary: A collection of Remus rants, writing about the pains of his condition and what he has to go through, with the little pricks of sunshine in his life. R&R
1. Chapter 1

_Lycropanthy_

A Remus Rant.

I was only four years old, you know? In one night, my whole life was changing, was ruined, and I didn't get a say, I didn't get to choose.

And yet, I'm considered a horrible beast, a creature, something to be locked in a cage.

I'm human too, you know. I have thoughts and feelings, just like any other person. I can love, and I can think for myself. I listen to the Beatles and tease Issy about her bushy hair. I'm an effin vegetarian, for Heaven's sake!

No one would ever choose to live like this. I'm shunned from society. Almost no one knows, but they all whisper behind my back. Where did I get all those scars, all those broken bones, and why am I always absent?

No one would mock someone with a crippling disease, with polio or cancer, with a life crutch. No, those people are celebrated, and had fundraisers for, and honored.

I'm just a normal person, I try to be. I have a mother, and a father, and pet fish. I had a brother when I was little, but he died.

I'm writing this because Is sent me to bed with three broken ribs and a fractured leg. It hurts to breathe. I shouldn't have to go through this.

No one should have to go through this.

And yet, I do. Thousands do, and hundreds more, every month. Mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, sons, and daughters, their lives are yanked out from under their feet and taken from them.

These were the ones that could have had the fairy tale ending, and instead are turned into the village monster.

We are the Quasimodo of the story, and Esmeralda is never to come. We try to turn deaf ears to the critiscm and rage towards out people, but it was filters through.

And you know what?

It hurts.

It really does.

We have hearts, and feelings, and emotions, just like you. But those are ignored and shoved aside as commons and we are mocked for something that we have no control over.

And when we tell people what we are, lifelong friends, they suddenly turn against you. They know who you are, and then when they realize _what_ you are, you're suddenly a freak of nature.

But hey, that's lycropanthy for you.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two: **

**Five years later?**

Of all the things that we found in Issy's attic, I can't believe that my old journal was one

of them. It only had one entry, and I've decided to add another. I'm twenty-one years

old. I live with my friend, Issabella Crandall, and her mother. Both of my parents are

dead, as are three of my best friends, and the one who I thought was my friend is locked up in Askaban.

The date is October 31st, 1982. Lily, James, and Peter have been dead for one year. And yet, tonight, children will go out, collecting candy, and having general merriment. It is only the few that suffer. James and Lily's parents. Issy and I. My ex-girlfriend Hayden. Her boyfriend Sage. Alice. Liz. Juni, perhaps. Maybe even Dallas?

Those of us who James and Lily knew, who Peter knew, who were graced by the light known as their friendship that will have to suffer the pain the Sirius Black has caused us all.

I can't believe that we used to be friends with him, my fellow marauders. We trusted him.

I still trusted him, even when he accused _me_ of being the spy. And why? Because I'm a Lycanthrope. Maybe it was because I hadn't been able to find a real job since I left Hogwarts, something which pains me. Maybe it was because I'd have to start making excuses to spend some time with Hayden, whom my fellow Marauders disapproved of because she had time and again turned down Sirius when they were at school, with even cattier comments then Lily used to give James, back in sixth year.

What I wouldn't give, to be that young again. To be a relatively carefree teenager. To have people who really cared. To be able to sleep in a bed that I could call my own and write poetry for James to give to Lily because he was too romantically inept to do so. To threaten Black that I'd cut his hair in his sleep if he didn't do something about the fleas. To stuff myself stupid with Peter's sandwiches. Not to mention Pina Colada Friday and the Ravenclaw Karaoke Night that the marauders always crashed. To have Haydie's arms wrapped around me and companions by my side.

They all died for something that they believed in, James, Lily and Peter did. And now I feel the part of the coward. I didn't know what had happened that night until Albus told me, a week later. I had wondered why Sirius wasn't picking up his phone.

And now I sit here, munching on a bowl of dry Frosted Mini Wheats and chroncilizing the sad events of a young werewolf.

I got turned down for the sixth job I'd applied for this month, and it seems less and less likely that I'm going to find one. My own personal support system named Issy tries to tell me otherwise buy I turn a deaf ear. There's nothing that she can say that's going to correct the life that Fenrir Greyback set out for me, the life of a filthy werewolf.

* * *

What do you think? I think it expresses Remus's feelings nicely during that period in his life.


End file.
